


The Things He Loves ; KEI TSUKISHIMA

by keiitsu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Image, Body Worship, F/M, M/M, Protective Tsukishima Kei, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent, Struggles with Self-Image, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Tsukishima Kei is Whipped, Tsukishima and the reader have been together for a while, Tsukki is really sweet, Weight Issues, kind of ooc, love yourself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:40:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28990836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keiitsu/pseuds/keiitsu
Summary: A self-indulgent piece that I would like to share to the world in case someone is having the same issue.DISCLAIMER: Body Image, Self-Esteem/Worth Issues, Self-Degradation, Slight!Body Dysphoria
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Reader, Tsukishima Kei/Reader
Kudos: 25





	The Things He Loves ; KEI TSUKISHIMA

Checking the scale once more, you grimace. You realize that you’ve eaten way too much in the past four weeks, causing your body to blow up like a balloon in just a short span of time. You frown, furrowing your eyebrows at the weight indicator before huffing as you get off the scale. 

You look at yourself in the mirror. 

You are displeased with what you see; the baby fat around your neck seemed to grow even bigger until it was noticeable around your chin, and any previous jawline you had was now disappearing behind windows of flesh. Your neck had turned a little bit darker on the back as you faced up, eyes still trained on the mirror. You notice that it’s an uncomfortable feeling—staring at yourself like this.

You sigh, leaning towards the mirror before standing back up. You know where the rest of the fat went—all you had to do was look down. A slight bump stood in the way of you and the clear view of your feet, making your lips quiver. You shake like a leaf—terrified and unsure about what to do. You wanted to work out, to get skinnier—but you couldn’t. 

_I’ve tried for weeks,_ you think. You’ve been constantly monitoring yourself and making mental checklists to see other ways you can lose weight without moving around too much, but that thought process soon falls short as the motivation leaves your body as quick as it arrived.

School was stressful and life at home wasn’t so peachy either. Amidst the mess in your life, you found solace—in food. You ate like it was your last day, at every hour and every chance. You hadn’t noticed that your body inflated albeit slightly until your mom decided to poke your stomach one day.

Blinking away your tears, you roughly pinch your sides as you notice that your love handles have already increased in size, overflowing from the tight elastic of your underwear. You look up to see that you were more than a mess, making you instinctively pull down your oversized shirt and shut off the lights with a bitter taste in your mouth. 

Walking into your living room, you see your boyfriend of two years; Tsukishima Kei. He sat cross-legged on the couch as he kept his eyes on the screen, not bothering to acknowledge you as he threw a kernel of popcorn in his mouth. 

“Hello.” You greet him meekly, subtly rubbing at your eyes to prevent him from growing suspicious. 

“Hi.” He drones out, slipping an arm around you. You lean your head on his bony shoulder and wince as you witness a woman getting stabbed on screen. 

“Horror night, huh..” You mumble, earning a look from Tsukishima. 

“Yeah. I thought you loved horror movies? Why the lack of excitement? Is something wrong?” He queries, an eyebrow lifting as he stares you down. 

You gulp. You feel his eyes drill holes onto your head. If you tell Tsukishima that you were prodding and pinching your body as you degraded yourself, would he get mad? Would he leave you? Or would he agree, say that he’s not into you anymore simply because you gained ten more pounds?

“I.. I uh.. just realized I had something I needed to do, and I forgot that we had movie night tonight.” 

Tsukishima stared at you suspiciously. You usually do your homework and turn it in on time, and it’s not like you to suddenly forget your favorite day of the week. He hums, taking a mental note of your hesitation. 

“Okay. Let me know when you want to watch.” He lets go of your figure and you stand up a little too fast, catching him off guard. 

You speed away, careful not to look back. You knew you made a horrible mistake by lying and if he were to really see you, he would probably be mad. 

After you left the blonde male to his own devices, he slowly stood up and followed you quietly. He watched as you fled past your room and into the bathroom, opening and slamming the door after a few seconds. He carefully tiptoed to the door, halting when he heard a frustrated huff and a plethora of sniffles. 

“..hate me for this.. sorry..” He hears you say through hiccups—was that a slap of an elastic band?—and he hears your heavy footsteps pitter patter along the tiled floor of your bathroom. 

Tsukishima inhales and knocks. He hears all of your movements halt before the quick run of water, before it stops once more, leaving nothing but silence between you both. 

You swing the door open—a fake smile gracing your lips as your eyes, puffy from crying, take the form of a squint. 

“Kei! Hi..?” You wring your hands together. Your voice quivered, and your greeting came out as more of an inquiry than not. Tsukishima could only raise an eyebrow at your suspicious behavior.

Tsukishima was never the type to tiptoe around topics—especially not when you seemed so upset about it. But when his eyes land on your feet upon the weighing scale, he stiffens. 

That’s what they were doing, he notes, they know they’ve been gaining weight. 

You step off as your eyes follow his gaze. You’re ashamed, bashful and embarrassed— you never wished to be someone who easily gained weight. You just wanted to be seen as beautiful—to him, to everyone. You didn’t want him to see you like this. 

You’re shocked when he picks you up, arms wounded tightly around you. You squirm in his grip, not wanting to weigh him down, but he stays firm, holding you as if you were to slip through his fingers. 

“Baby, baby..” He buries his head in the crook of your neck, causing you to wince. 

“Kei. I’m alright.” You shakily tousle his hair, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. 

“I know what you’re doing. Please don’t lie to me.” He breathes, “You’re so perfect, my love. Why would you think otherwise?”

You bite your lip. 

“You’re a little thick, so what? That’s more for me to grab while we kiss, while I make you feel good. It's more for me to hold onto when I’m feeling disconnected. You hold me down, [Name]. You keep me alive.” He breathed, desperate to get his point across.

“Kei, I love you. But—“ 

“But what, [Name]. What?” 

“Kei.” You look into his eyes. His pupils were dilated, his breathing ragged as he stared at your face, a small expression of worry present as he examined you. 

“I love you. You’re so beautiful.” He sets you down on the marbled counter, his large hand brushing hair out of your eyes. His thin lips stretch into a small smile, a rare occurrence that happened only when he was feeling sentimental. 

He leaned closer, kissing your cheeks. You heat up, a little flustered due to this new and unusual side. You aren't sure what you did in your past life to deserve someone like him, but you’re more than grateful that he’s holding you tightly. He stands back up, his blonde hair sticking out in random places. You think he’s beautiful under the bathroom lights. 

“I love you.” You press a chaste kiss against his lips, opting to bury your head in his chest after you pull away. His large hand finds itself in your locks, combing through each individual strand of hair as he rested his chin on your head. 

“Look at you. You’re so perfect,” his hand travels from your arms to your love handles, gently caressing them as he stares at your figure from the full length mirror, “I’ll love you in any way, shape or form.” 

You almost burst at the seams as the feeling of being loved fills you whole. Tsukishima’s been trying his hardest to show you his love but you knew it was only limited to actions; words of affection barely left his mouth if it wasn’t in the bedroom. However, hearing Tsukishima profess his love for you and your body was enough to send you over the edge. 

You squeak when his hands trace the stretch marks on your thighs, his golden irises locked onto yours. His lips are slightly ajar, breathing softly as he stares at you with adoration. 

Your heart clenches in admiration and quivers with overflowing love. You can tell he’s enamored by you; his eyes shone unlike any other when he lingered in your presence. He always latched onto you despite sharing no words, choosing to kiss you or play with your hair rather than make conversation. 

You thought yourself a fool for assuming he’d stop loving you because you changed slightly. You knew that while Tsukishima cared about looks, he wouldn’t care much as he used to if he truly loved someone. You thanked your lucky stars that Tsukishima had fallen in love with you for your personality and knowledge rather than your looks themselves. 

You were grounded back to reality when he hoisted you up in his arms, carrying you in bridal style as he trekked to the living room. The horror movie was still in play, the screams of multiple men and women resonating throughout the living room speakers. He takes a seat and gently sets you down next to him. 

You manage a meek ‘thank you’, Tsukishima nodding wordlessly as his attention was captured by the wide screen TV. You adjust yourself so that your head is positioned on his lap, grabbing his arm and slinging it over your frame as a makeshift blanket. You intertwine your hand with his, blissfully sighing as you feel his thumb stroke your hand. 

“I love you, Kei. Thank you.” 

He clicks his tongue in response, but you know that he’s more than grateful to provide you the comfort that you need. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING! 
> 
> This was entirely self-indulgent since I am head over heels for this man, but when I edited this, I was like ‘??? Maybe I should share it with others! Maybe bring a little joy?’ so here I am. I know that this may sound hypocritical because I’m having the same issue but your body is perfect. I gained a bunch of weight last year and I’ve been unmotivated to try and lose weight. However, addressing the issue is the first step to getting better, so I’m getting there! I believe in everyone including myself and I know we can get to our goals some day.
> 
> If you’re struggling , talk to someone about it. I am a stranger but I can be someone you can talk to; your friends can listen, hell, even a therapist if you have one. Just know that you are perfect in someone’s eyes. 
> 
> follow me!  
> insta : @flaerei  
> wattpad: @florynn-


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